Mission Impossible completed.
I am so proud of myself. I've survived completely outrageous time of the year and two biggest things for this spring are behind me for now. What are those? Let's see... yesterday I sent my thesis chapter for seminar participants to read. Funny thing and why I am soooo proud of it, is that it took me 4 days to write 48 pages. One chapter for background and one chapter for evaluation. That's HALF of my thesis! Four freaking days! OMG. Sure, it's not ready to way it is and I still need to edit it. Especially if they say to me that I can't be that creative. But I can take one lower grade if my thesis actually looks like me and like I've done it. I'm doing it for me because it's going to go to the archieves anyway. But these past four days meant pain in knees, I got pain in my fingers joints and my lower back nearly killed me at pump yesterday *did reduce wieghts, and did take it easy because I had bambi legs from all the sitting still, but it did get easier towards the end. But this kind of writing, lemme just say that without my fairly strong core and other conditioned posture affecting muscles, I wouldn't sleep, walk or talk today. I used to do this kind of wiritng marathones a lot and even though I was quite fit back then too, this is totally different. I didn't get the typical shoulder pain at all and I recovered fairly quickly during the class. Actually I had a feeling that my core was supporting the middle section even easier than before - meaning probably that it has been holding me upright sitting position last four days. Point being, don't forget to exercise at right level because when it comes to extreme dailylife situations like this, you survive with spilled coffee instead of any other worse injuries. My knees and fingers are ok now too, they just got little tired I guess.
Another reason to be proud?
I'M NOW OFFICIALLY A GYM INSTRUCTOR!!! YAY!!!
The first thing I did after my practical exam was biking home, crying on the way because I was just so damn happy. This is what I've been wanting for the past god knows how many years and it's finally happening! Can't really describe the feeling for that. Finally my life is looking like I want it to look like and I'm daring to do the things I've always wanted without the fear of failing and constant self critisism. It's a skill to be happy and enjoy the moment without the but. But should come later, after you've taken the moment to be happy for yourself. That's what I think.
Despite those things like I said, the but should come later. There's a lot of things I've put up because those two major things. Priorising doesn't come alone and it never brings the relaxation after the things are done. At least not with my schedule. Spring is here and it means a lot of essays I've pretented won't exist. It means still endless hours in the gym trying to perfect my techniques, it still means the book pile waiting me to grab each one of them. For me it also means little explaining and apologizing because I didn't handle all of the things the wisest way - I couldn't sent even one e-mail to say that I will write but not now. But the after math is needed, it shows how far I had to push and I now that I don't need to go to the edge anymore I can say it took a lot of strenght. So if I was rude or anyone felt like I don't have time for them, I'm sorry. I was tired, now I'm resting and taking things bit less extremes.
Joyful day everyone! I am having one right now :)
